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Bernie the Bolt from Beggars Belief's collection of originals 


Something’s not right, we seem a little light

And nobody’s tapping the floor with their feet

We keep straying away from each other’s playing today

We need a little shuffle and a good strong beat

Like a bird needs the air and a baby needs its mother’s care

And a chef can’t find the flavour without his salt

We’re a band that needs a drummer, without one we’re nothing but folk tune strummers

We need you Bernie the Bolt


Bernie, Bernie, we don’t want to default

Bernie, Bernie, where are you Bernie the Bolt ?


I rang on your bell, and gave a little yell

But nothing seemed to stir up in your flat

I left a message on your phone, saying I didn’t want to be alone

And I texted but you’ve not got back

If you’re sitting down with your cider and your cigarettes all laid out beside you

I don’t want to give you too much of a jolt

But we started out on our own n I’m sorry to say I don’t think we’re going down too well

Where the f**k are you Bernie the Bolt ?


We can find our way through a set, without you yet

It’s not the same if you decide not to come

And we want to play in our own special way

So we need the beat of your big bass drum

And we need your snare, and your drummer man’s flair

And we’re not looking to find any fault

So without further ado, we would very much like you to

Shift your arse, Bernie the Bolt 


The last that we knew he was on a canoe

On a tributary deep in Zaire

But when we finally got through to the people who knew

They said, sorry Bernie’s not here

The last that they heard, he’d turned his back on the world

And was seeing out his days locked in a vault

But let’s have one more play Bernie, before Judgement day

Come and join us, Bernie the Bolt



We’ve already begun, but you are our prodigal son

We’ll give you things and make you feel at home

It’s up to you, the songs we’re gonna do

We’ll follow you in a world of your own



/G            /            /D            /

/C            /            /G            /



/Bm            /            /Em            /

/Am            /Em            /D            /D7

/Bm            /            /Em            /

/C            /            /D            /D7

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